Four Ways to Avoid Money Spats With Your Partner

By Thomas R. Kestler

Many marriage counselors will tell you, a leading reason why couples break up is money differences. There are many studies about the money behavior of married couples. The studies show that many couples ignore signs that they might be financially incompatible. These studies also show that when it comes to finding an ideal partner, money and potential earnings were not a priority. Both men and women valued personality, character and looks above financial success.

However, these aren’t the traits that determine whether a relationship can survive. Younger couples have a greater number of financial disagreements than older couples who may have resolved their differences.

Here are four ways to prevent money arguments from getting in the way of your happiness:

1. Understand your partner’s financial circumstances

Are you marrying a spender or a saver? For many people, money is an off-limits topic. Ask questions about debt, credit score, savings, etc. Put together a plan to address any issues that arise.

2. Be open about your values and financial goals

Envision family you’d like to have and your goals for retirement. Be aware of where your dreams coincide and where they may diverge.

3. Separate control of your assets

If you do not feel you are financially compatible, but are still committed to the relationship, consider three types of accounts: his, hers, and ours.

4. Work with a financial professional

Hire a qualified financial professional who can help you find common ground and honor both your needs. A financial plan based on your goals can help sustain your relationship.

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Tom Kestler has been involved in the financial planning field for over 45 years. He is a graduate of Millersville State University and the College for Financial Planning in Denver, Colorado (for which he has acted as an adjunct instructor) and carries the Certified Financial Planner (CFP) designation.

He has also been awarded the Chartered Life Underwriter (CLU), Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC) and Chartered Mutual Fund Counselor (CMFC) designations from the American College in Bryn Mawr, PA. He was the founder of Kestler Financial Group, Inc., a firm which specialized in the marketing of financial products and services to over 5,000 independent representatives throughout the United States. Kestler Financial Group was acquired by Highland Capital in 2018.

Mr. Kestler carries Life, Health and Variable Products licenses in several states and provides consulting services to insurance companies on product design and development. He also acts as an expert witness in securities and insurance litigation cases.

Prior to his retirement, Tom served as VP Advanced Sales at Highland Capital, and also CEO of Branch Development Partners, an Office of Supervisory Jurisdiction (OSJ) for Securities America, Inc. (now Osaic), an independent securities broker/dealer.

Tom will be teaching an upcoming Financial Wellness Course— the first class will be held on Monday, December 8th. Sign up today!

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In the meantime, if you have a question for Tom, please post it in the Comments box below and he'll answer it for you.